“When I Am in the Wrong”

 

 

I shouldn’t have pried into someone’s private life. This time it’s my fault that they don’t want anything to do with me. I pushed this person away. I messed up and I don’t know if I’ll ever get a chance to apologize to them. I hate myself for that. I would love to get a second chance with this person, but sadly who knows if that’s even possible.

 

Do any of us ever notice where and when we are in the wrong? It took me until after the fact and then that’s when the guilt was buried inside my soul. I need to pry inside myself to get it out of me! I hurt their feelings without ever knowing what their limit is. Just because I can handle something, doesn’t mean that they could do that. MOST persons aren’t as emotional and psychologically strong as me. MOST people are emotionally and psychologically weak, VERY WEAK!

 

I take no bullshit from anyone or anything. I’ve learnt to always put up a fight when there are moments where a sense of pain and hurt are about to arise. I keep my guards up often and carefully. Am I scared? Yes, I am, all the time as a matter of fact. How am I going to make my apology to someone that I love or at least lust over? Oh, I don’t know exactly, not at this very moment.

 

Am I in love or do is it just some kind of lust on my part? It’s difficult to say since I am feeling a bit airy over the matter. Part of me feels like I am in love while outsiders see me as being a bit compulsive in my lust over the person. I think that I love them, but that may not be the case.

 

Do women ever admit they’re wrong? It’s rare as a matter of fact. Men are less likely to apologize too, so either way, it’s equally unapologetic! People are extremely stubborn and it’s a tough call whether either gender will step up and the mature one to make the first apology. It doesn’t matter what a person’s age just so happens to be, it’s the maturity that they would have within themselves to be honest at their own mistakes.

 

In the real world, it’s not about who is generally better and perfect, what people tend to fail to understand that life is about who admits to their mistakes and truthfully learns from them. In our own mind, we have the assumption of, “I’m right, they’re wrong”, when it’s really, “I was wrong, they were right”.

 

A good person is humble, they even admit when they are in the wrong and have made mistakes that are unbearable. They don’t shy away from learning from their mistakes. They also accept other people who have made mistakes and admitted what they did wrong, so-as to learn from how they treat others. We live, we learn, and eventually, we really do love.

 

Where do I start? How do I start? When do I start? What shall I say? Who do I make a practice run with? Do I even make a practice run to someone or even to myself in the mirror? Why is this extremely difficult to do? How will they react? Will they even accept it? Will my panic attacks stop? Why is this so painful and agonizing to do? Why must this be so emotionally stressful for me?

 

There are so many questions that I can ask myself and others will do the same as they’re in my situation. It’s not easy, it’s very difficult to endure! I will conquer this someway, somehow, and someday. If I can overcome this matter to apologize for something that I did wrong, then everyone else should do the same thing as well! This feeling of a certain type of guilt is weighing heavily on my heart. I just want that feeling to lifted off of me.

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