“Finally, My Almost Equal”

 

 

About a month ago, I met someone. I haven’t been the same ever since, no seriously, I’ve been in a blissful state! We haven’t spent much time together which is best when someone new comes along. I have personally put the person in more a friend zone state. Sure, whenever I see them, my heart flutters, but it’s recently that I’ve learned of some personal information about them.  That personal information, they’ve never faced that pain that’s deeply inside them.

 

I’ve come to terms about all the bad choices made in my life. I have been fortunate enough to go through therapy to help cope with that tragedy and I had also worked in mental health. My life isn’t perfect, obviously, but unlike many others, I make sure I start to face my fears for a change. The person that makes my heart flutter, has made extremely selfish choices in their life so far that it’ll always deeply pain them throughout life. I had witnessed what it is. I even inquired about it. I swear, they almost cried just discussing something so deeply personal.

 

When people don’t discuss their inner and deepest darkest of secrets, they make up for it by other means. This person is materialistic and fancies the much finer things in life. Sadly, I hope karma got the best of this person regarding their poor decision making to teach them a lesson that they shouldn’t be selfish. I know from personal experience, I keep a low-key life due to the smallest of my actions will cause an effect elsewhere. I can’t be selfish like this person, my life already taught me a lesson in humility. The information regarding the persons deepest and most painful of secrets almost made them cry. I quickly saw a very human side of them by observing an emotional side they’ve never exposed until now. When I witnessed the human emotional side of them, I realized in my heart, I love this person because they remind me of me and when I’ve made certain bad choices in life.

 

As of currently, the person is unaware of my situation, which is likened to theirs. I personally don’t want them to be critical of mine when they haven’t faced their problem to a resolution. The rest of the evening on the day they told me their deepest dark secret, they kept quiet and even didn’t hold a smile like they normally do. I did hit a soft spot. Can I help them face that reality? I don’t know, since it’d be up to them. Eventually, I will offer my help, since in my situation, few people have ever helped me and for those who took their energy to do so, I am forever indebted to them.

 

Could I ever be in an actual romantic relationship with this person? I don’t know and most definitely, NOT any time soon. I see a hurt person and before I would even be sexually and romantically involved, I would need to pull all of that out of them to prove if we’ll even work out indefinitely. Through all their strong and tough persona, I discovered their weakness, I know their kryptonite.

 

What makes this “relationship” different and unique? We’ve been hurt and suffered loss. The only difference is that they haven’t faced a certain specific life altering problem and I have. I have come to terms and dealt with my problem where as they have been putting it off for longer. This person has been living in luxury to compensate for their deep dark secret. Then again, it’s always the people that we see living the glamorous life on the outside that have skeletons in their closet. This person does and it’s sad that they have fallen into their given stereotype all because they were selfish and made a bad choice.

 

For the time being, I don’t know if I’ll be able to help this person since I can barely help myself as it is. Overall, in time, I’ll offer to help them and it’ll be up to them if they choose to accept it. MANY persons reject certain types of help in life thinking that everything will be great for them, when, it will creep up on them. For this person, it’s finally creeping up on them. I’ll keep my fan base informed if they’d like to know more.

 

In the meantime, I won’t reveal what it is they and I have that is what made us bond. So far, they don’t know that I’ve been through something VERY much like them. What I can say is, they claim to be a nice and hard-working person, but that’s just their front to cover up some old damaged goods.

 

There’s just something about this person that I see, and that’s an old me: stubborn, selfish, and prideful. Will this person allow themselves to be fixed? I don’t know. Will this person accept advice and help? For the situation, it’s pending. Will they accept their previous selfish decision and change? I’m not sure, but I hope they do.

 

I’ve had so many failed relationships and overcame many pitfalls in my life. In my personal life experiences, once I made the effort to face the bad things in my past, I became a stronger person even if some of those situations didn’t result in my favor at the then moment. It’s the fact that I made substantial effort to face what pained my heart and soul. It was difficult and I cried over facing my greatest fears. For this person, I hope they finally face their greatest fear from a tragedy. They may have respect from their peers that don’t know that certain side of them, but when people in their life learn and discover that they’ve overcame a matter extremely intense, they’ll gain a new means of respect. Overcoming life’s greatest fears makes us grow and be stronger people. Hopefully this person I love does that…

I know that the 3 things that I can always offer are: love, friendship, and companionship.

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