“Copyright Infringement: Music”

 

Many so-called music artists are not making any original material for several decades now. They “sample” sounds and vocal tracts usually from lesser known songs or artists. Some artists who weren’t able to monetize their music the first time around, are finally earning royalties due to newer artists stealing their material and having to sue them.

 

Mainstream popular music in the past two to three decades, have been suffering legal issues even though their songs are making profit. Due to the modern times where a music producer can add instrumental compositions, sounds, and specific vocals from limited formats of the past onto music created for the digital age, many artists are not original with their art anymore. Music producers can alter music from times past, but the craft where they’re infringing on another artist’s work, is catching up to them in the courts. Many of the musicians who may have not won audiences when they originally made their albums in their youth, but they’re winning elsewhere many years later.

 

There’s a generational divide between adults of a certain age range and the youth. The average young person around the world, listens to music that is composed of digital arrangements verses physical accompaniments with real instruments. Due to the digital age, music producers have been what is called, “sampling” music into the sounds of other more well-known artists. Most current popular artists are naïve to the musical arrangements that these music producers have been providing them, resulting in having to attend court rather than perform a big concert or other projects.

 

Music is no longer original as it once was known for. Younger people nowadays have never performed on or even seen a real musical instrument of any kind. Approximately, thirty plus years ago, young people were being classically trained using real music instruments. It’s currently a dying art to continue to play on any instruments since the music industry has been crafting their work in the digital age.

 

So who have been copywriting infringing on the music of artists’ pasts? This is common with almost all forms of secular popular mainstream radio music and especially hip-hop. Both genres have been summoned into courts around the world for robbing other artists of their work. As mentioned before, many currently popular artists are naïve to what a producer will add to their music to try to be original when they are not.

 

Getting permission from the originator is a process within itself. There is a lot of paperwork involved as well, most of which, takes time to process before any work can even begin. Producers for pop artists know that the younger generation are idiotic towards older music and the origins to which those tracks were arranged. The majority of the music that is being “sampled” today came from artists that are still alive and those are the individuals who are suing these record labels and others since they were not given any credit that is due to them and then royalties. There’s nothing wrong with sampling music, as long as it was granted legal permission from the start!

 

Companies such as the Los Angeles (Studio City), FilmTrack, help music artists protect their intellectual property as well as gathering the data from royalties when the masterpieces are released.  It’s important that all current and upcoming musical artists from all genres, learn and receive assistance to prevent the legal measures immediately, that could more likely damage their career.

 

Stealing is stealing, even in the music industry it’s been catastrophic! Thieves are everywhere and we should safeguard ourselves from our hard work of intellectual property.

“It’s a Generational Thing”

We all plan out our lives differently. Depending on a person’s age to which they fall into, the ways in which we are educated and even do business can vary.

There is a lot of hype about how millennials do business. The majority of them have never worked in retail or even in food service. They are predominately higher educated, having attended college or a renowned university. This age group definitely does more world traveling than their predecessors. They are more likely to not own a vehicle of any kind and due to their traveling, they’ll not be a home owner any time soon, or maybe never in their lifetime. This age group will less likely to have children as well. Millennials are into smoking “organic cigarettes, getting high from ‘shrooms, social drinking, and are frequent with the consuming “molly” pills.

X and Y generational people are group of mixed needs and ethics. These people were more likely to have settled down and have at least one child. These people are also the type that may not always have had a college education because they were more eager in settling down at a younger age. The men and women of this age group have been the biggest victims of HIV/AIDS due to being more promiscuous at a younger age. There are also more children born out of wedlock from this group, a start to lacking of morality where the previous generation frowned upon any children born from an unwed mother. Meth and crack were common with many of this age group. Most of these people are self-made failures in life, blaming their parents for their problems.

The average baby boomer, finished high school and went to a decent college or university. About half of the people in this age group postponed having children until they were closer to forty years of age or even pushing fifty. Most of these people are home and vehicle owners. They have an average of two children that are “planned”. Their children tend to live at home into adulthood after their college days. People of this age group don’t really move far from where they grew up. This group of people are also known for the being, “the ones who had to learn from their mistakes”. They didn’t have much guidance from their parents. It’s also a generation where many people were sexually abused but never spoke about it until recent times. This generation revolutionized cocaine and heroin. These people are known for working for others but also many renowned self-made billionaires came from this generation as well.

People who are of a generation born around World War two or shortly after in that decade, have a very different lifestyle. Depending where in the world they came from, their life choices would differ to this day. Some of those postponed having children, while those from certain countries, had numerous offspring. A good number of people from this generation were active in doing drugs and heavily consumed alcohol in social settings. Early marijuana users are common with people from this age group. The average male, were known for having simple jobs while most women were known for being a homemaker type. Most from this generational group barely finished high school and few attended college or university because they believed in a simple kind of life.

 

So what are some of the dynamics in these various age groups? There are more differences than similarities, due to the changing times. In each generation, people did things different. It also depends on where people came from in the world that would determine what kind of life choices they would make for themselves. While many millennials from other countries are moving to America, many of the American born are moving to other countries to do business. Interracial dating is more common but in more extreme measures than ever before between cultures that wouldn’t normally be together due to religious beliefs and restricted customs.

Younger people are committing suicide more over matters that consist of living their life over the Internet and popularity on social media. Younger people are also socially awkward and most cannot interact well with others because of how they carry themselves. They tend to dress in extreme ways in sloppiness or very elegantly, but mostly plain.

Business practices have changed. Younger people live off the money investors older in age who’ve supplied their business ideas, usually an app or a website that provides services. Half of the much younger people are not going to college if they even finish high school. When investors are putting their money into the ideas of the much younger, why would they even need to finish any additional schooling when they have a lot of money from these people? Young people live off investments, they don’t need to have minimal jobs as the young people from previous generations. Younger people have never worked physically hard and they never will. All that the younger generation do anymore is have their eyeballs attached to a laptop, tablet, or the newest smartphone.

When the younger people are lacking their maturity with their investors, most don’t care as long as they put their money into something that will guarantee a profit. The average millennial is too casual with each other, and the much younger people see that as the example they should follow where they don’t need to carry themselves in a more mature manner. Younger people nowadays are becoming ruder and more disrespectful than any other generation before them. They’ve never had to work physically hard as previous generations have done which caused them to have an arrogant attitude. The modern generation are emotionally numb and weaken over the littlest.

Our world depends on the young people of today, but if they can’t even physically save themselves from danger, don’t expect any of them to save another soul! It’s a generational thing! They may know how to spend more money over something they “created”, but when that product or service runs out, expect them committing suicide since they won’t be able to handle the real problems of the world!

Repetitive Cinema

Major film studio companies are spending more money than ever to try to make the next big blockbuster spectacular. The only problem is that those action packed and special effect movies usually only do excellent at the box office for the first and maybe the second week of release. Some big budget films have failed altogether at the box office leaving studios to be in debt rather than to make profit until the next project is done editing and released.

 

So why is the film industry suffering financially when they are supposed to be profiting? Do production crews truly need to consist of 1,000 people? What are some ways to save on the financial costs? Why are films costing so much? Do actors and film staff need all the luxuries to make a film? Who benefits from spending so much money to make the blockbuster films?

 

There just hasn’t been any good new ideas in the film industry for some time now. Most of the films and television shows now are repeats of the past. Not all previous productions were a success the first time around and many of the remakes aren’t any help to get those previously failed ideas a success. When people attend movie screenings across the globe, most audience members are disgusted or generally hated the films that are supposed to make profit for studios. Even at test audiences for television shows, the crowds don’t care for a lot of the so-called new or renewed pilot episodes.

 

Another matter to consider that is time consuming, is, does every film really need to have extreme special effects to make it a good movie? No. Some of the best films ever made in recent times do not or in fact have very little. Yet, as much as the film industry in America and in other locations such as China are mainly about gigantic “masterpieces”, it’s all repetitive. Sure, many people love their super hero movies from the world of DC and Marvel Comics, but some of those have failed to when the audiences weren’t feeling a good vibe with the lead character(s)!

 

The film industry hasn’t had any good and new original ideas for several decades. Thanks to social media, film goers, have spilled their hate for many movies and television shows all because there hasn’t been anything original to fill in their ADHD/ADD needs. Just because there have been good movies simply made in recent times, doesn’t mean that they’ll have a more universal release into markets across the globe, rather they’re limited causing a rift between those who watch for entertainment verses a more educational manner.

 

In certain film release markets such as rural North and South America, Europe, Africa, and Asia, people don’t see the more poignant of films and television shows. In fact, if they only have available to them pop culture variety and music contest shows. People in general are turned away from watching films in theaters and even having cable or satellite. People can get their news from the Internet nowadays and stream films online which is cheaper than spending so much for services where they’ll have little available time for. It’s a global issue, that even though people do continue to watch films in theaters, the production companies are hurting for the losses when their big budgets don’t produce enough profit in the end.

 

More and more cinematic masterpieces in recent times will continue to be massive failures again and again. There hasn’t been any originality since the cinema first started! Sure, there’s also a generation gap with audience members, which studio execs hope don’t notice that an upcoming release is from a previous as young as ten years ago! Studio companies have not had any good script writers and storytellers who possess new ideas. It’s an international issue, not just in places such as the USA.

 

Once film companies find new and better talent, then the cinema won’t be hurting financially and in social media. There’s a long process for a script to get into the hands of filmmakers. Aside from that, people aren’t as originally creative as they used to be. Films and cinema will continue to be repetitive until new and better talent is found.

Jobless with a Degree, Part 2

So I had another discussion recently with the owner of a tech recruiting firm based in San Francisco. The conversations are ongoing, but there’s still the issue regarding why people who’ve spent many years getting an education in America or other prominent institutions around the world, are still unemployed. The recruiters are foreigner themselves, so they’re very well aware of the stigma that arises regarding dress and grooming for a job interview.

 

Different companies have different policies regarding the interview process for any job, especially in tech. With some recruiting firms, they actually go out of their way to interview such candidates several times before meeting with the actually company they’ve been offered a position with. The unemployed yet educated people, usually fail in their interview process with the recruiting firms before they meet with the companies that are hiring. Why are these candidates failing? It’s a variety of things.

 

A person who goes into a job interview smelling disgusting as if they haven’t showered, yet they have a shower facility where they live, is an immediate red flag! Tech jobs don’t require people to be in a suit, but when in an interview, it’s best to appear clean! While so many tech people say that they want to be like Mark Zuckerberg, the difference between those who are jobless and him is that he appears clean in his usual simple attire due to being color blind.

 

A person’s exterior image can say a lot about their work ethics. If how they look and carry themselves isn’t pleasing to the eyes but rather sour, then any potential employer wouldn’t want those people in their workplace. It doesn’t matter what our race, age, and gender we are, having a slumped over appearance when applying for a job makes it look like a person isn’t honestly eager enough to finally be employed.

 

Another process an applicant is having to endure is having a psychological evaluation. Most people can’t pass a psych evaluation due to their stubbornness to work alongside others. Just because people have obtained a Master’s Degree or a doctorate, they don’t have social skills. Also, another problem is that these people have terrible spelling and grammar skills. Whomever from the schools are giving these people a degree, should be immediately fired since the so-called graduates lack basic skills.

 

Young people, especially, have been purposely living in a dungeon like environment. They’ve been able to live like this, thanks to the convenience of the Internet. For some, they can’t live that way for long since many are going to other countries for job opportunities. They have to leave their current place of residency and look for employment so that they can continue to have housing. The people who are foreigners to the country they’re currently residing in, have to deal with visa issues, so they’re forced to go look for a job.

 

It’s not just an issue with young people, but with ALL types of people who choose to live in their own filth! Presentation is key, and what all of those who are currently looking for employment have failed to notice that their exterior is the very first impression a recruiter and employer will see and notice. Just because some people have come from poverty, doesn’t mean they have to look like it. Just because, someone has had a rough life, doesn’t give them the excuse to show that side of themselves! There is work out there, anywhere you go. While people may still qualify with their ability and/or skills, their physical appearance and demeanor will be the deciding factor if they’ll ever get hired to a job. A person doesn’t have to be wearing expensive clothes, they just have to look and smell clean!

“I didn’t have to, but I choose to”

I didn’t have to become a blogger; I chose to be one even though I knew it wasn’t a gig that I would be gainfully employed with. People who don’t already know me, are extremely intimidated when they initially encounter me. I’m not tall at all, I’m short and stalky in size! What is it that made me the vocal person that I am today? There are several reasons.

 

Ever since I was a small child, I was always told by my parents that I am stupid and a failure. I was born in New York, a little bit north of New York City. I’m the third daughter of parents who are displaced immigrants who came from a country where the majority of the people are not educated at all. When I became an adult, I learned that my sisters were the ones who instigated my parents to mistreat me since they resulted in being the real failures and in denial of their actions. I had a horrible upbringing in the way that my sisters and parents had told ALL of our family friends that I am stupid and destined to fail. I struggled in my teens with my identity as a person differently than that of most young people in the community I was part of. While other young people were constantly receiving praise to succeed, I was always yelled at by my mother and sisters instead for no particular reason other than they just chose to take their frustration out on me due to their mistakes and failures.

 

In due time, I learned something about my own self. I had a revelation that I could either continue to be the said failure my family insisted I was, or I can change that. When I decided to go back to school after completing high school, I didn’t ask my mother for money to pay for my classes. Rather, I did the paperwork as I would apply for financial aid. The reason why I didn’t ask my mother, as most young people would’ve ask their parents, is because not long before, my middle sister had our mother pay for her to take some classes, and she dropped out before she even attended a class, getting refunded and wasting the money on useless stuff instead. I’m not the best student due to my learning disability, but I passed the semester, which is more than my two older sisters have ever done in their whole life. But that didn’t impress my mother.

 

After nearly a decade went by, my mother suffered a stroke on my birthday. I was living in San Francisco, California and my mother was visiting the Central Valley. She didn’t even contact me that she would be coming out. I had to learn from some cousin’s Facebook that my mother suffered a stroke. By the end of my birthday that year, I was at my mother’s side as she was in the hospital. I was informed before going to see my mother that she hadn’t move and when she finally saw me, she jumped out of the hospital bed! I would visit my mother in the hospital nearly every day for five weeks she was in there. I had some choice words with my mother and made her cry since she couldn’t speak at the time.

I told my mother that I was upset she didn’t tell me she was coming out to California. I let my mother know that it was stupid of her to have given everything to my other siblings and not one thing to me. I made sure my mother cried in heartache that I was the only one of her children to come see her while in the hospital as my other siblings made pathetic excuses to not make an emergency trip. I assisted the nurses in taking care of my mother during her stay. I even did the adult thing to handle my mother’s medical needs since my siblings were not physically present.

 

Even after I had taken care of my young mother, people in my personal life, continued to mistreat me. Why? Because every single person who did, has never experienced an extreme case of sudden responsibility where they’re forced to make the final decision on the behalf of a family member!

 

As I learned to socialize more with people I would meet from originally tech events, I would meet other men and women who’ve endured either the same or similar circumstances out of their control. For some time, I felt alone amongst the general population around me who couldn’t empathize with me. Taking the first step in approaching people no matter their profession, gender, race, sexual orientation, etc., I learned that there are people whom I can relate to with regarding our tragedies. Everyone handles their circumstance differently, yet, if I hadn’t pushed out of my bubble, I would have never known people with similar struggles.

 

I’ve learned that the tech industry, especially tech security is extremely sexist towards women. How the men have mistreated me has affected me but I’ve always forced myself to get up and push my way through! I have also gotten involved in the gaming industry, which is sexist as well, but not as terrible as security. I’ve used my expertise from film school and applied them in the gaming industry. I’ve made attempts to be a computer programmer, but to save me time, I partially gave that up in the sense that I attend meetups to keep track of what’s happening, but don’t actually program.

 

No one told me before I made friends with some people a little bit older than me here in San Francisco, of how I should pull myself together. Some of the other places I’ve lived, most persons are still in a rut, so they can’t offer advice to get out of one. The transition took several years, which is a long time for some and quickly for others, and it’s still a work in progress. I know and see people who choose to fail in life as an adult because they harbor resentment from their childhood. If there’s one piece of advice I can share regarding my childhood, it would be that I rarely asked for help on any level. I taught myself to do A LOT of things and tackle issues that were regarded meant for men only.

 

I was taught how to cook at a young age. Since I came from a large family, I was trained to cook for many without looking at a recipe book or searching the internet. If I need to move something large in size, I trained myself to move it instead. I didn’t like to wait for assistance since the majority of the time, most people would skip out last moment, making up lies as to why they failed. I trained myself to get things done without asking for help. Even as I got older, I still do physical activities alone.

 

I want people to know that it’s up to your own self to continue to be that pathetic person that your own family plagued you to be, or, you can change that and be a much better able bodied person who is greater in many ways. Most people continue to stay in their flunked state, while I had taught myself and continue to teach myself to stay away from the broken side of me that I was engrained to be. I didn’t have to, but I chose to change.

 

Over the years, SOOOOOOOOOO many people have been selfish on their end and did as much as they could to take everything I ever loved: my daughters, my mother, and even the love of my life. I have had so many people determined to jeopardize my employment status at some of the places I’ve worked because they were miserable and I had a happy spirit. I’ve had to deal with selfish people who tried to make sure I’d lose out having a roof over my head. I’ve known many people exclaim that “karma” would come back and haunt those who’ve hurt me. In truth, karma doesn’t exist! Nothing bad has happened to any of the persons who have terrorized my spirit to destroy me. All of those persons are living luxuriously psychologically. I have to bounce myself back every day, every moment that someone only wants to hurt me to make themselves feel almighty. Some people enter our lives for various reasons, while those who pain us can be selfish and jealous family members. Not everyone is fortunate to have family members to love and care for them. If family members were treating their fellow sibling with an act of tough love, it would have been evident by now.

 

Family are the first to hurt us. Family are the first people determined to take anything we’ve worked hard for away from us. Family are the first to stab us in the back. Family are the first to betray us. Family is the first to disown us. Family will always be the last to apologize and in some cases, will take it to their grave to never do so.

 

We build a network of special friends as adults nowadays. That group of friends aren’t the people we grew up with as children. These are the people who are of various age groups and races, but we have some very different things in common: we’ve endured extreme loss and hardships. We take that step forward in life to socialize and engage with the people around us. It doesn’t matter what racial heritage they come from, how old they are as an adult, or gender. There are many people who’ve endured similar tragedies to us and we would have never known, if we hadn’t taken the first step to get to know one another. There are people who are literally close to us physically who could use someone to reach out to inform them that they’re not the only one suffering from tragedies, agony, and hardships.

Jobless with a College Degree

In my personal encounters in various places, I’ve met numerous people who possess a college degree and yet, they’re unemployed. Why? A large number of those people are socially unpleasant looking and acting. I’ve met numerous people who get too politically vocal in matters that don’t apply to them which causes employers to fire them, rather than layoff. Just because someone has earned a college degree, doesn’t make them suitable to be in the workforce all together.

The younger generation, aka millennials, are socially awkward in the sense they’ve trained themselves to only make friends and date people from the internet and not in the real world. That generation have created fake personas since they don’t honestly physically interact with people. Millennials are the majority behind cyber hacking, another reason they don’t possess a real job.

Being jobless when one has a college degree, is an embarrassment. Most people do put themselves in a situation where they aren’t employed. The unemployed of those who’ve earned a college degree, isn’t just with millennials but of all age groups. Whenever people become inappropriately vocal about politics and other matters that should not be discussed in the work place, CEO’s, founders, and HR don’t tolerate their embarrassment of the company behavior and fire them!

Many people of all age groups are forced to move back in with their parents or other family members due to their lack of employment from their inappropriate attitude in a workplace. Many people of high book intelligence also suffer from undiagnosed or untreated schizophrenia or  are schizoaffective. When a mental illness isn’t treated for a lengthy period of time, the brain capacity suffers even more in the long run, resulting in permanent life damage.

Mental illnesses is a taboo concept in all cultures around the world and when untreated, those of the most severe either can’t keep a job or can’t get any employment due to their inability to interact and cooperate with others. All Asian cultures deny mental illness whether it be themselves or a family member with the results in being untreated and unpleasant to have in any business setting.

So do major cities actually have jobs available for the general population? Of course they do! Just because someone may not posses a college degree, doesn’t make them unqualified. The jobs that are available are for people with a Master’s or PhD, but due to being socially awkward, they’re not getting hired on.

“Panic Attacks”

 

Lately, I’ve been having severe panic attacks. I used to take medication for them, but in recent times, even medication doesn’t help anymore. My onset for the panic attacks can vary. For the past several months, my panic attacks have been extremely painful that my body could barely move during the times it is happening. Panic attacks isn’t a matter than can be seen from the outside of a person, but it’s an internal reaction.

 

Several months ago, I suffered the emotional loss of the person whom my heart considered the love of my life. Many months and days later, my heart is still in pain, yet my physical exterior doesn’t show it. As much as I try to get over the person, every so often, I feel a pain in my chest, particularly from my heart. Reminders various in nature tend to trigger the feeling of pain in my heart. I could be preoccupied and yet, I get the sudden sense of feeling of missing that person. My heart never loved someone so much before other than for my own children. At the end of that “relationship”, the person mistreated me greatly by their words and actions towards me from the depths of their hateful soul.

 

I’ve been having panic attacks for many years, even as a child. I didn’t know what they were until I was much older and after seeing various doctors, I would eventually get the diagnosis that I had been having panic attacks. My panic attacks made me feel as if I was going to pass out and die. So many people in my life growing up and into adulthood would always insult me for the feeling I had in my chest, that being, from my heart. I would get insulted by former family friends and even my own family that I was fat and my heart troubles were from being overweight and lack of exercise. I had a lot of exercise is that ALL of those people failed to recognize. From an early age, I always had a feeling of being scared. I had a lot fears from when I was a child, yet, I was always and constantly insulted by my sisters and parents.

 

I grew up moving around a lot but at the same time, my family was still sheltered from the rest of the world due to being Christians. A sheltered life can and has damaged people from the past, current, and even in the future. My panic attacks were at the worse when I had lost everything in my mid-twenties. My family surely didn’t care and they refused to help me even though I had always assisted them when times were tough. I have two older sisters who are self-righteous about being a Christian as they’ve ALWAYS verbally abused me as they sometimes would literally or figuratively point their index finger in my face, yelling at me that EVERYTHING I’ve ever done was wrong! Over time, I’ve learned, I wasn’t wrong. I’ve come to learn that they were ALWAYS in the wrong since they’ve ALWAYS accused me for being at fault for their mistakes. Just as with anyone else in the world, my sisters will never admit what they’ve done wrong. Any religion in the world isn’t necessarily wrong, it’s the people who claim to be practicing and end up blaspheming by their spewed hate for another person.

 

I have suffered loss in great ways in my life so far, but I have learnt to be an emotionally tough person in order to survive the real world as I deal with all types of people on a date to day basis. I’ve had my moments of giving up in life, but as I’ve made various transitions of friends and colleagues in recent times, I’m reminded of moving forward to be successful and not a failure as so many people have chosen to be. When I moved away from my family and friends I grew up with, I was forced to be more social by making new and different friends. Making new friends hasn’t been easy and it’s been a trial and error from the beginning. As I’ve forced myself to be more engaging with strangers, I’ve realized that I’ve met other people who’ve had similar struggles as I have. The only difference is that some people chose to continue to be in a slump while others psychologically fought their way through all the pain they were enduring at the time.

 

From the various conversations I’ve had with friends and certain colleagues, some of us have more struggles in life than others. I’ve learned that no matter where I go, I will deal with people who only want pity from others because they’re lazy physically, emotionally, socially, financially, and even psychologically. I’ve learned that people who’ve mainly lived in particular area their whole life, are more likely the type of adult that is going to be lazy. Most of my friends now and colleagues have come from all over the United States and even from other countries around the globe, eager to make something better of themselves. When people move afar, they have a certain goal in mind, and that is to be successful in something. Whenever people choose to stay put, they’re life is more of a failure than anything else.

 

So what does the previous paragraph have to do about panic attacks? Just as I continue to suffer pain in my heart, that doesn’t mean I have to give up. I may have to take a “pause” in whatever activity I’m doing by stopping for a little bit. When I had strong panic attack pains over the years, I’ve had to isolate myself and deal with the grief of that time. Depending on each situation, grief would last for a lengthy period of time. I’ve had psychological therapy for the past decade, and most of the time, that doesn’t work because only I can pull myself from the pain keeping me down. I’ve had subtle reminders that have caused me to have panic attacks again after the falling out from with the love my life. Even when I’ve been busy, something from out of the blue gives me a reminder of that person and I become choked up inside.

 

I have two daughters and have been putting up a fight to try to get them back. My own sisters are part of the reason why my children aren’t with me. I’ve had to learn that my sisters honestly didn’t want to help me, but hurt me since at the time, they were controlling a lot in my life by always making me feel guilty for everything I’ve ever done. My panic attacks regarding losing custody of my children due to my sisters determined to hurt than help me, have slowed down and even came to a halt. When I had been having the panic attacks regarding my love, trying to control the matters hasn’t been easy. Aside from loving my own children and not being able to see them, the person my heart chose to fall in love with, chose to cut me from their life. The few people who’ve witnessed them and myself in each other’s company, know that person is being selfish on their part which has caused a pain my heart. The person knows that I love them and has used that against me with them.

 

When people we love intentionally pain us emotionally and even psychologically, our heart literally feels the hurt. Overall and in the moment, there isn’t much to be done to cope with the agony. We just have to endure the pain affecting us from the inside. I’ve learned to take some time out of my day to deal with the pain the person caused me, all because they purposely chose to hurt my heart from the hate in their soul.

 

Just as I can’t change my sisters from their selfish ways, I can’t change the person my heart fell in love with. Karma doesn’t hurt those people who’ve caused me to suffer loss. Those people live a decent life full of lies that whomever is currently part of their life is being fooled since they’re naïve. No matter how busy I can be or get, I still feel a panic attack coming onto me. The only best way to deal with the pain is curl myself up somewhere and close my eyes, all while I let myself cry for I used to feel that I was about to die.