I’ve decided to take at least a year off from dating and all sexual activities of intimacy. I just wasn’t happy with the people I was dating. Not only do I need to focus on my professional career, I need to focus on myself as a person and to take control of any situation where any guy may want to try to break my focus of abstaining from sex. As old as I am, the average female of my current age, is settling down and having children. For me, I kind have already done one and not the other.
Three days before my birthday which is in late November, I had an epiphany. I was already single as it is, but this year of 2014 was less turbulent than 2013 and before. I’ve already made some life choices in my twenties that will be with me for all eternity, but I should have been more careful. I never dated or really been with men until I was in my twenties and never in my youth. I come from a family where my mother never could offer advice about dating and men. (My mother was a child bride at approximately twelve and widowed in her late thirties.) My older female friends had offered me advice, but life just took a while to actually heed their words.
In the past couple of years, I came to terms that men are disrespectful sexist pigs. Not all of them are that way, just the majority are. Most men, no matter their age and where they’re from, they only chase after sex with women and usually the younger inexperienced girls would give in whereas the majority of older women would not. Most men refuse to take and treat women out in public anymore without the intentions of sex on the barely first date. Most men are rude and disrespectful to women and most women don’t know any better and go ahead and accept that. My older female friends have told me to not put up with it and for some, they need an ultimatum if the relationship lasted longer. Some of my female friends have said that some men had a bad influencing mother (alcohol and drug abuse, prostitution), so their views on women are bad. Some men who’ve had mothers of a bad influence, are willing to let their wife or girlfriend show them how they should treat women with respect and kindness instead of being a bully. But sadly, a good number of men continue to be disrespectful towards women because of their mother not being a good role model.
Over the years, when I have met a man’s mother, I’m grateful that I haven’t met a mother I didn’t get along with. Several relationships ended because some of the guys didn’t like how I would “side with his mother” and not his when handling an issue. I have even known men who were just horrible people but they had nice but naïve mothers. It doesn’t matter on a person’s ethnicity on whether or not he will turn out to be a helpful, useful, and respectful man, it’s up to each individual. Most men who continue to be abusive to women tend to either stay in their home country where women have no power or in a community of people of the same origin as them in prominent progressive countries.
I do have to say, A LOT of mothers and fathers are at fault for NOT teaching their children to be respectful and grateful for all the small and big things. Many parents blame schools for not teaching their kids to be respectful when in truth, the parents are at fault for not instilling manners into their children. This in turn goes into adulthood when men and women date. Most men are abusive in some form while most women are naïve towards being mistreated by men. This goes into the workplace as well, where in most prominent cities around the world, most men and women only date within work which in turn leads to business problems.
Another reason I’ve decided to take time off from romantic dating, is that I haven’t met a man in a long time who does enjoy secular activities. A preference of mine, is a man who does not smoke, does not do any drugs whatsoever, and might be a social drinker, but never an alcoholic. I don’t like men who think they have to stay young by going to night clubs and bars religiously, resulting in drunken bouts. I hate wild party boys! It helps that a man has a job! I like men who are more so self-taught about something that wasn’t or isn’t taught in attending college. It’s a turn off when I do my research and a guy has criminal record over something that could have easily been preventive. A man needs to have a valid driver’s license, drive, and have a vehicle. I prefer a man who enjoys doing activities in the outdoors, weather permitting of course! I like a man to be fit but is NOT a gym rat! I don’t like men who are vegans because I could never be one due to food allergies. I like men who eat just about everything and is also intrigued to try new things. Ironically, most men don’t even practice good hygiene and etiquette, and not doing either is a turn off. Good grammar, punctuation, and pronunciation are key to me. If I attempt to speak another language other than English, even I try my best to get the pronunciation precisely as it should be!
Nowadays, most men come in two very extreme forms: social extrovert or anti-social introvert. Many men are boring with never really wanting to go out and do anything, which is a sign that he doesn’t want a romantic relationship, just a friends with benefit. This is a problem. Why? It means he doesn’t want his friends to see who I am because he’s already embarrassed to be seen with me! If guy likes to go out too much, he’s making up for being insecure and is usually a douche.
So many guys have tried to convince me to have sex with them and brag about how endowed they are. Size isn’t an issue for me, as long as it’s not tiny and thin! Men force women to give them oral, and when I’ve been approached recently, I threaten men and call them out on rape! A real man would come to terms with that. Good sex was only ever possible when there was sincere intimacy initiated from the guy without being forced.
Not all men are jerks, just the majority! Until any man I meet shows me respect immediately, then it’s taking time off from dating and all intimacy with them.
…and the list will keep growing…